


Permanent Is Just A Word

by PrydonianAlchemist



Series: Of The Safe, Cold Comfort [4]
Category: Dr. Carmilla (Musician), The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Gen, I thought it would be cool on its own as well, Implied/Referenced Suicide, So here we are, also from chapter ten of cold comfort, brief discussion of past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28641633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrydonianAlchemist/pseuds/PrydonianAlchemist
Summary: Nothing ever really stays.Excerpt of Cold Comfort Chapter 10
Relationships: Dr Carmilla & Nastya Rasputina
Series: Of The Safe, Cold Comfort [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2014492
Kudos: 9





	Permanent Is Just A Word

She's still sitting on the common room windowsill — alone — when there's a knock on the door. She knows that the person doesn't need to knock to enter — the door would open for them.

  
“I'm back,” The voice is calm and familiar.

  
Nastya sneaks a glance but turns away when she realizes who it was. “I pushed Jonny out of the airlock for you. _You're welcome_.”

  
The voice laughs, though there is barely any humor behind it. Nastya turns to look at them, and to her, they look amused. She sniffs indignantly, but smiles.

  
“I suppose that was an amusing time for you, Carmilla...”

  
“I've gotten used to it.” Carmilla does laugh again, and this time there is humor in her voice, which makes Nastya feel a strange kind of uneasy. “That's... just Jonny.”

  
Her footsteps approach the window; when Nastya glances at her, she stops a fair distance from the window.

  
“They've gone out,” Nastya said, flatly. “Burning up another planet. I won't tell them you were here again, especially thinking that you've left permanently. _Again_.”

  
“Permanent is just a word. Nothing's ever permanent.”

  
Nastya sends her another — exasperated — glance. She bites her tongue, and thus leaves words hanging in the air.

  
“Alright.”

  
Carmilla doesn't say anything for a long while after that.

  
Eventually, she joins Nastya upon the windowsill. There was barely enough leg room left after that, even if Nastya was curled up. It wasn't comfortable, either, and both of them knew that.

  
“Looks like Tim stole a spaceship again.” Nastya drew a line across the window, following a small figure dashing across the atmosphere below her. She smiled but didn't laugh as she usually would. “He's gonna end up killing himself.” she paused, before immediately correcting herself. “Permanently, anyway.”

  
“Not for a long while. You know he's smarter than that.”

  
Nastya's hand dropped from the window; she leaned her head back and watched Carmilla as her gaze traced the surface of the burning planet from her spot on the window.

  
“I have to ask something.” Nastya broke the silence when Carmilla's gaze dropped from the window. The woman stared at her in curiosity, silently urging her on.

  
“This is... going to... sound weird... coming out of my mouth, but... Do you remember that one time I was stuck outside when I was younger? In the snow?”

  
“Mm...”

  
“You told Jonny I'd gone back early, then said you were testing me for something —” Nastya bit her tongue, but swallowed uneasily and continued. “Which one was the lie?”

  
“That I was testing you — I was never testing you — and I do admit... when you got separated from us, I thought you'd gone back inside.”

  
“How long did it take for you to realize I was still outside?”

  
Carmilla was silent. Nastya didn't press her, but drew her arms close and shivered at the thought. She knew her perception of time then still wasn't great — she could have been out there for _hours_ before they'd dragged her in.

  
Carmilla watched her, and Nastya watched as a multitude of unspoken thoughts flicker across her face; she eventually reached out — something Nastya knew was meant to be a comforting gesture — but Nastya waved her off.

  
“Please don't touch me.” She shrunk away and glanced toward the still-burning planet outside. “You've done enough damage already.”

  
Nastya only received a nod to her statement, though when she stole a glance from the window, she found Carmilla with a sad, understanding smile.

  
Silently, then, Carmilla leaped from the windowsill. Nastya didn't bother to look as she left

Carmilla said nothing else, her footsteps stalking away, barely making a dent of sound on the metal floor.

  
Nastya didn't hear the door shut.

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to try out some characterization with Carmilla, because I've been having a lot of thoughts about her character lately.  
> Hope this helps until I finish chapter ten.


End file.
